Remembering Phang Hwee Kim

Yesterday I talked to Ng Bak Seng. He said before Phang Hwee Kim's departure, her father asked what was her last wish. She said want to see old schoolmates and her husband tried to contact other with difficulty as internet emails handphones were not so popular at that time.

Neo Say Yeow

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You caught me off guard yesterday when you brought up Hwee Kim's passing and the memories of her came gushing back without filter.. When Hwee Kim was terminally ill, Mui Cheng called me one night. Through the years, Hwee Kim kept in contact with some of us - she made special effort to send festive cards and all and so when Mui Cheng told me Hwee Kim was passing on and wanted to see me, I went. I was however not quite prepared for what Hwee Kim wanted to give to me. She was in Mt E, with her husband and children. Her face was ravaged by cancer and so so she couldn't speak. But she wanted to communicate and she wrote / scribbled what she wanted to say and I replied orally. She was easily exhausted and so we spent quite a bit of time in silence with each other just holding hands. We spoke about nothing very much in particular but there was this sense of peace of just being together. Yes when I was with her, she was very peaceful. That was her gift to me. Peace - there was no hysterics.

Before I left, she wrote that she wanted to see her Pontian friends. We spoke a bit more and there was comfort in knowing that we will see each other again, although it will not be in this lifetime. She gave me some advice on slowing down my pace a bit and spending more time with my family because she knew the kind of life I was leading then. Right to the end, she still know each of her friends as individuals. And then I left her with her family by her side. I called Yong Kwang almost immediately and told him Hwee Kim's last wishes as he has always been our contact point. I have been a bit of a recluse from the rest of you and didn't have any other contact numbers to call.

What Bak Seng said to you is quite correct. Also I remember something that Bak Seng said when we met during Hwee Kim's funeral not long thereafter. "We should make it a point to meet up more often during ordinary times and not just during funerals and the like". But I think I have not met Bak Seng since then.

SY, I do not understand the pyschology of this but even when we spoke last night after so long, there is this complete sense of uninhibited comfort and trust in conversing with you and a sense of homecoming although we may not have been particularly close to each other back then. That is why the tears flowed when you brought up the subject so suddenly. I can therefore understand a bit of why Hwee Kim just wanted to see her childhood friends again. If we had a loop like this, maybe more of us would have been able to sit with her for a while before she left.

Ling Lian Yin

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Just to add on this subject, I was told by KC of Hwee Kim's wish but at that time. I was battling with my own family crisis. I wish I could be there for her. At least some of our friends were.

Chin Sik Fong

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She was very brave to the last minute.
She was really very happy to see her former schoolmates.
And she was capable of making us feel happy even during her last moment.

Seah Yong Kwong

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You are right and that is how Hwee Kim may have wanted to be remembered. That is why I recall her passing with a sense of peace although it was tinged with sadness from the loss of a friend in this lifetime.

Ling Lian Yin

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I knew about her illness very late, througha Pontian guy, KK Tan who was helping in a temple in PJ where her parents frequented. First I got her brother's hand phone num. When I called him, he was in China. Weeks or months later, when I got Hwee Kim's hand phone number and called her, she answered me she's in a meeting (could be with the doc?) and asked me to call later. Her voice was husky, so unfamiliar. But later I forgot about it. The next thing is few weeks later, my sister in Pontian called to inform me she saw the bad news on the newspaper. My sister went all the way to JB to give the ‘peh kim’ on my behalf.

So sad that I didn't manage to see her or at least speak to her for a while.

Tong Siew Bee

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I drove down to JB with Ho Siow Foong immediately I received a call from Yong Kwong. Managed to spend an afternoon with her, together with Yong Kwong, Bak Seng and others. She was so brave and was glad to see us. I must admit that I was caught totally off-guard and unable to accept the situation then – to see her so helpless. She was on morphine drip…….but was consoled to see her family, husband and children, prepared and ready to accept the worst.

Tan Kui Chen