Parenting by Steven Loh Hong Boon

Through all the years of parenting and dealing with young children and youth, I realize that there are always times we do not know what we were talking about. A man's meat is another man's poison sound so true when the channels of communications are colored and distorted according to our whims and dreams. Somehow we want our children to live out our broken dreams!

My point is, we do not owned the children, God place them in our bosom to warm our hearts and let us enjoy the fruit of our procreative power, and at the same time enjoy and to rebuild relationships and teach us to communicate more effectively. Responsible even when things went real wrong and still have to address them rightfully. Very much a humbly act.

A miracle indeed to see live spring forth and blossoms under cares and love. We are steward and their keeper. To take care of them and enjoy them for as long as they
Are with us. Then one day, they will live a live apart from us. The only thing that bear our resemblance and our trade mark: the values we transferred to them and the little actions that they copied from us.

Thus we embraced them each night while they are with us and say, dear, you are special and we love you dearly.

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I must say that it is very humbling when bringing up children. I have five of them and all of them have some resemblance to both of us,on the character scale of: loving kindness, generosity,expressiveness, gentleness, zeal, passions, diligence, intellectual,and obedience, all of them have different marks. If taking my
character and my wife, we are so different that we become complimentary. And the character of the children just taken some of mine and some of hers. Nothing is right or wrong, good or bad. We are all just unique and this to a call to be celebrated. We always have family conference to discuss major family issue and the decision is make when everyone feel at peace and agreeable. Due to our many movements throughout our lives, this has help us to build a strong bonds and friendship. Although we also have time of sharp disagreement! Some of their horns are like mine! And we learn to
shake off our anger before the sun came down. Not always true but we try.

The one who took the photos during the CNY Kukup gathering is currently studying A-level in Singapore under ASean scholarship offered by Singapore MOU. I do admire most of your children who build friendship in one locality, all my children are out of Malaysian educational system since couple of years ago when we decided to come to China. Now all of them possess some characteristics of third culture kids. One consolation, they are very closely knitted in their relationship and their spirit. They pray for one another, help each other, console and comfort one another, and spend time to Encourage one another when ones is down or fell out of love, and celebrate with each other when they received rewards or achievement. I think that bring us the greatest joy as parents.


Steven